This sort of thing happens all of the time
I was running through all poetry today and I noticed a line that Tweak had put on her post.
"This sort of thing happens all the time"
Its more than likely just the remnants of my last night. Mostly because I took something from a piece that she had just wrote when bored. So kudos to Brittany for being able to goof off and still be able to do that with me.
<3 your writing.
***
I should be in bed right now. Im long over due.
Instead, I'm of course at Ky wes. writing more music and cleaning other pieces that have long needed it.
Re-writing, re-organizing, re-finishing and bringing things anew...avoiding issues. Putting them to music when I should be dealing with them. Yet maybe this is just my way of dealing with it. A way to let myself vent.
Actually that does seem to make sense.
When everything was happening with John, I wrote dilemma. when I was tripping I wrote dramatic. and of course the plethura of songs that came about this summer. Thank you trey for the seven songs. You were my personal muse this past semester.
***
I still dont necessarily understand why I continue to write... or god to even tell others about new songs when they are written.
I hate thinking like that. My hands would probably shatter if it werent for it. yet everyday I find myself in a crowded room of bustling people going to and fro passing by, seemingly not hearing one note. always busy. rushing everywhere. It would be nice to have someone sit and listen. This is not to say of course a lack of attention is what upsets me. that would be the easy answer sure. but once again I find myself puttin gfun back into dysfunctional and looking for deeper meaning in every fucking thing.
I suppose that I could play forever without one voice of audience. Ive realized that the more I serve people, the more I am starting to grow unfond of them. So it comes as no suprise that I dont necessarily give a fuck if they like it or not. People can be too bitchy anyway.
besides, as long as the song says what I wish my heart could, than I am satisfied. but it would be nice to not be chased off by those who would rather sit mindlessly in front of a T.V. I think that may be the reason why it bothers me sometimes. so much emotion jsut wanting to spring out and bitch slap people with a how do you fucking do? no violence of course but rather a big "well here you go, you wanted to know." but Ive had trouble doing so recently. I guess Im not to trusting of people to let them know. So music does so for me.
When people ignore it just makes me wonder whether or not I should put that much of myself into it. That may just be my strange brain unravling things again however.
***
Moving on
***
Things have been hectic lately. Always busy and rushed. I hate that sense of chaos.
Well I dont necessarily hate it. Its like everyday is a different adventure, with new stories to tell friends, new things to learn. I suppose it's a love/hate relationship.
regardless. I have been here for the past two hours playing and writing. Im going to be pissed if I forget it all again.
Ya thats right
again
***
I had drank around a half bottle of wine and had gotten a lil looped. So naturally I picked up the keyboard. I started pecking away, jaw half dropped from intoxication and fingers searching randomly. ad then I came across a chord progression I loved. It compeletely felt my heart at the time as I was having difficulties with things going on in personal affairs.
The odds right? Fucked up, sleep deprived, and here I am pecking away widly at this thing.
then to my suprise a song popped out. Complete with 2 verses a chorus, 2 bridges and a transition into "Backwards Rain".
Being very proud of myself at this point and feeling especially celebratory, I finished the rest of my san-gria, and played on madly until I felt the need to pass out.
I had forgotten everything when I woke the next morning. the only thing left was a bridge, which I had to work with for about two weeks to get another song out of it. I still am not sure of whether or not it is the same as the one I had played that night, but regardless. It's something at least...
***
and I guess the latter could be said for what two were just written, for now. Its something. mmm. cigarette break and then online addictions.
***
I wish this headache would go away. arg. Last night was definately headache-y hangover worthy though.
Because after a night of tequila, everclear, whiskey and gin, a hangover at least tells me that I dont drink as much as I thought I did and that alcoholism has not kicked in.
***
=(
boo headache
***
These fucking computers suck. All I want to do is watch "Unravel" by bjork and the video is taking forever to load. I think the computer may commit suicide in its efforts to download the video program...
*cut to me pleading the screen not to jump over the two foot ledge of a desk.
***
haha! success...
*joy*
and now the video takes forever to load.
wow impatient anyone?
I should be greatful Im not getting kicked out of here for not being a student.
...load faster...
mer...
"This sort of thing happens all the time"
Its more than likely just the remnants of my last night. Mostly because I took something from a piece that she had just wrote when bored. So kudos to Brittany for being able to goof off and still be able to do that with me.
<3 your writing.
***
I should be in bed right now. Im long over due.
Instead, I'm of course at Ky wes. writing more music and cleaning other pieces that have long needed it.
Re-writing, re-organizing, re-finishing and bringing things anew...avoiding issues. Putting them to music when I should be dealing with them. Yet maybe this is just my way of dealing with it. A way to let myself vent.
Actually that does seem to make sense.
When everything was happening with John, I wrote dilemma. when I was tripping I wrote dramatic. and of course the plethura of songs that came about this summer. Thank you trey for the seven songs. You were my personal muse this past semester.
***
I still dont necessarily understand why I continue to write... or god to even tell others about new songs when they are written.
I hate thinking like that. My hands would probably shatter if it werent for it. yet everyday I find myself in a crowded room of bustling people going to and fro passing by, seemingly not hearing one note. always busy. rushing everywhere. It would be nice to have someone sit and listen. This is not to say of course a lack of attention is what upsets me. that would be the easy answer sure. but once again I find myself puttin gfun back into dysfunctional and looking for deeper meaning in every fucking thing.
I suppose that I could play forever without one voice of audience. Ive realized that the more I serve people, the more I am starting to grow unfond of them. So it comes as no suprise that I dont necessarily give a fuck if they like it or not. People can be too bitchy anyway.
besides, as long as the song says what I wish my heart could, than I am satisfied. but it would be nice to not be chased off by those who would rather sit mindlessly in front of a T.V. I think that may be the reason why it bothers me sometimes. so much emotion jsut wanting to spring out and bitch slap people with a how do you fucking do? no violence of course but rather a big "well here you go, you wanted to know." but Ive had trouble doing so recently. I guess Im not to trusting of people to let them know. So music does so for me.
When people ignore it just makes me wonder whether or not I should put that much of myself into it. That may just be my strange brain unravling things again however.
***
Moving on
***
Things have been hectic lately. Always busy and rushed. I hate that sense of chaos.
Well I dont necessarily hate it. Its like everyday is a different adventure, with new stories to tell friends, new things to learn. I suppose it's a love/hate relationship.
regardless. I have been here for the past two hours playing and writing. Im going to be pissed if I forget it all again.
Ya thats right
again
***
I had drank around a half bottle of wine and had gotten a lil looped. So naturally I picked up the keyboard. I started pecking away, jaw half dropped from intoxication and fingers searching randomly. ad then I came across a chord progression I loved. It compeletely felt my heart at the time as I was having difficulties with things going on in personal affairs.
The odds right? Fucked up, sleep deprived, and here I am pecking away widly at this thing.
then to my suprise a song popped out. Complete with 2 verses a chorus, 2 bridges and a transition into "Backwards Rain".
Being very proud of myself at this point and feeling especially celebratory, I finished the rest of my san-gria, and played on madly until I felt the need to pass out.
I had forgotten everything when I woke the next morning. the only thing left was a bridge, which I had to work with for about two weeks to get another song out of it. I still am not sure of whether or not it is the same as the one I had played that night, but regardless. It's something at least...
***
and I guess the latter could be said for what two were just written, for now. Its something. mmm. cigarette break and then online addictions.
***
I wish this headache would go away. arg. Last night was definately headache-y hangover worthy though.
Because after a night of tequila, everclear, whiskey and gin, a hangover at least tells me that I dont drink as much as I thought I did and that alcoholism has not kicked in.
***
=(
boo headache
***
These fucking computers suck. All I want to do is watch "Unravel" by bjork and the video is taking forever to load. I think the computer may commit suicide in its efforts to download the video program...
*cut to me pleading the screen not to jump over the two foot ledge of a desk.
***
haha! success...
*joy*
and now the video takes forever to load.
wow impatient anyone?
I should be greatful Im not getting kicked out of here for not being a student.
...load faster...
mer...
posted by sven at 12:22 PM
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